I’m not exaggerating when I say I gained a person during my first pregnancy. Not an eight-pound person, a fifty-pound person. And fifty looks more like a hundred on my tiny frame. I’ll try to track down a picture to prove it.
At the time, I was often seen in the nicest restaurants sporting a leopard print Fiorucci number, a one-piece that was meant to have a big belt cinching it to show off your hot early-eighties bod. But I was dressing “for two” and looked more like a giant spotted pumpkin than the sexy dame I thought I was. Strangers laughed at me when they took in the sight. A real ego booster.
Cedars, where I gave birth, became a huge party where all my friends visited at all hours. I was one of the first of us to have a kid. Okay, Kimme, Sherry and Barbara started a bit before me, but it really seemed like I was hosting a big premiere. Think “The Wizard of Oz” and the moment she wakes from the dream, looks around the room and says to each person “…and you were there, and you were there…. “ Well, all of YOU reading this were probably there — only it wasn’t a dream.
Periodically, everyone would leave my room en masse to visit the nursery to look at my new, perfect, ten-days-late, stunning child with the Mick Jagger lips. And no, I didn’t fuck Mick — though I met him a few months after Oliver was born and told him it WAS his baby. Should I totally digress to that story? Sure, why not.
The Father of My Kids had decided he needed to get a PHD at New York University, so we were living in the East Village. One of my best friends, Stacey, was staying with us for a few weeks, and out of the blue a director friend of hers called to book her into a music video with Bette Midler and Mick Jagger singing “Beast of Burden.” Apparently, the “General Hospital” actress who had been hired was a no-show and the director had worked with Stacey before and adored her. She invited me to visit the set. Whenever any of us worked, we always invited each other over, so this was not out of the ordinary. And because Oliver, my baby, had those really full amazing lips, I’d already joked many times that it was Mick’s baby. A private joke. But then seeing Jagger there in the flesh, I could not control myself. Without waiting for an introduction, I yelled, and I mean loudly, ”Hey Mick, your baby!!” gesturing to Oliver in my arms. Now mind you, it was the early 80’s; he could easily have slept with me somewhere, sometime and not known or remembered.
Instead of fearing a potential stalker, Mick marched right over, got extremely close to my face and introduced himself (I was speechless — rare, right?). He told me he loves babies and then proceeded to put my own baby’s fingers in his mouth and suck on them — with his ginormous MICK JAGGER lips! Are you kidding?
But let’s cut back to the hospital room. I’m now alone, abandoned by everyone. The doctor had performed a Caesarean and I was in excruciating pain, with strange staples in my stomach. The fact that the birth ended up being a C-section without anesthetic is for a whole other blog — the grotesque medical malpractice blog — but I’ll spare you a second digression.
Anyway, just before my gang of friends and family deserted me, a friend who comes from a long line of bakers, baked me her famous mandel bread that she knew I loved. Upon handing me this generous offering, she fled with the rest of them. I hardly noticed. I already knew what it was and, unable to control my excitement, tore through the wrapping – then dove in, mouth first. I instantly became aware that I was choking. Not just your regular, I will stop choking in a few seconds choking. No, this was full-blown I’m-about-to-die- here-and-now choking. And sadly, I couldn’t really cough because of the surgery. It hurt too much to save my life. So, for several critical seconds I sat there, unable to help myself at all.
The life that passed before my eyes was pathetically short. I was only 29. If I checked out, my baby would have only had a mother for a few days. I also needed to tell Eileen how much I loved her mandel bread. So, it would be rude to die. And I needed to hear more praise for how stunning my newborn was. I absolutely had to live. And somehow, I did. Was the mandel bread worth almost dying over … you bet it was!

Mandel Bread recipe (not Eileens, her house is under construction and she couldn’t find it” ) from the internet Jewishrecipes

Recipe Ingredients:
3 c flour
1 c sugar
2 tsp baking powder
tsp vanilla
3 jumbo eggs
1/2 – 3/4 c canola oil
1 ± 1/2 c chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350°F. Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, and vanilla in a large bowl.

Then, stir the eggs into the mixture.

Next, kneed the canola oil into the mixture.

Add chocolate chips to the dough and kneed the mixture again. Divide the batter into four loaves (2″- 3″ wide, 1.5″ high).

Place the loaves onto one greased baking sheet. Bake for 30-40 minutes.

Remove the loaves from the oven.

Once the loaves are baked enough so that they are a golden brown in color and crack, slice them immediately (1/2″ wide).

Separate the slices as much as possible.

Place the slices back in the oven so that they bake for another 5 – 10 minutes.
Eileen didn’t make mine with chocolate chips, you can or even add nuts and I do remember that she made these in vintage tin ice trays which I thought was very cool

Beast of Burden video with my friend Stacey Nelkin, my new friend Mick Jagger and Bette Midler below

Tags: Billy Mumy, Cedars Sinai hospital, early 80's Fiorucci, Eileen Mumy, fredde duke, General Hospital, Maurice Duke, Mick Jagger, Stacey Nelkin, The Ivy Restaurant

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 4th, 2010 at 6:02 pm and is filed under Recipes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.