She Takes the Cake

domy and shortlived boyfriend

In case you are not familiar with the cast of characters in my life, let me introduce you to Domy.  She is the housekeeper, former babysitter to my kids.  We are very close.  Sometimes just a little too close.  I can get on her nerves.  She can get on mine.  Domy is profoundly loyal to me and vice versa.  We speak in a language we made up twenty-two years ago.  It’s part Spanglish, part 60’s movie Chinese.

Sometimes Domy can cop a “tude.”  In this one period of hyper-tudiness she announced that the other woman had baked her a cake.  She added, “Because you said no cakey for me!”  Then she walked away from me the way a three year old might in an argument with a parent.  I looked at her and asked if she had told this “other woman” that I had refused to give Domy cake.  It’s not true at all.  What  I did say was some cake for her and some for me,  which I suppose she misinterpreted.  I’m thinking all this mishegas and a fight in Spanglish over cake for a woman who has diabetes.  One week prior to this misunderstanding I had baked Domy her favorite cake.

I have my own reality show (I don’t).   My co-star is my housekeeper Domy (well that’s true).   The show isn’t scripted but if it was this is what it might look like.

FADE  IN

INT.  KITCHEN CALIFORNIA/SPANISH BUNGALOW HOME

Domy, the longtime housekeeper bangs around in an indicating fashion.

Pots and pans are being thrown back in cupboards in a reckless and fast

Way.

DOMY

Otra Senorita makey me a cakey!

Domy turns her body and head away, chin held high, digging her heels in and ready for a not face to face battle.

 

FREDDE

(The boss, but is she?)

Ummmm, Domy?  Did you tell the other Senorita that I said you couldn’t

have cakey?!

 

DOMY

(Eyes averted, chin still held high)

Jess!!!!!!!

 

FREDDE

(Incredulous)

What??!!!!!!  Me no hable you no cakey Domy!!!!!!

Me hable you chiquita cakey – me chiquita cakey!!!!

 

CUT TO ONE WEEK BEFORE

 

FREDDE IS HARD AT WORK IN THE KITCHEN.  BUTTER IS SOFTENED.  ALL INGREDIENTS FOR A CAKE ARE BEING MEASURED AND THROWN INTO BOWLS.

SHE IS IN FULL PREPARATION FOR BAKING A CAKE.

 

AN HOUR PASSES

 

YOU CAN SMELL THE FRESHLY BAKED CAKE SITTING ON THE COUNTER

 

FREDDE CUTS HERSELF A SMALL SLICE AND HAS A TASTE

 

NEXT DAY

 

DOMY ENTERS THE KITCHEN

 

DOMY

(Notices the cake plate, very excited, like a child)

Cakey?

 

FREDDE

Yes Domy, for you.  I baked the one you likey just for you.

You mucho agusta.  But, not sure, me chiquita comer and me

no likey.  Problemo Domy.  Maybe too mucho flour?  Me no

comprende.

 

DOMY PULLS THE LID OFF OF THE VINTAGE CAKE PLATE AND CLUMSILY DIVES IN WITH A KNIFE, SHOVING A HUGE PIECE OF FRESHLY BAKED CAKE IN HER MOUTH.

 

DOMY

(grimacing and yelling)

MUCHO NO BUENO!!!!! No bueno the cakey!!!!!

 

TOSSING INTO THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL WHAT WAS LEFT AFTER THE HUGE FIRST PUT-HERSELF-INTO-A-DIABETIC-COMA BITE—WHICH WAS REALLY MORE LIKE TWO PIECES FOR ANYONE ELSE

 

 

FREDDE

(sarcastically, seriously sarcastic)

Oh that’s just bueno Domy.  Me mucho worky, makey you

the cakey you mucho agusta.  Mucho horas me worky!

 

DOMY QUICKLY GRABS CLEANING LIQUIDS AND EXITS THE KITCHEN

 

FREDDE   (CONT’D)

(barely audible whisper)

Wow Domy

 

 

FADE OUT

 

Domy in the background, but never really in the background

Domy in the background, but never really in the background

 

Domy’s favorite cake is a coffee cake I make from a 1988 cookbook by Marion Cunningham called The Breakfast Book.  In honor of National Coffee Cake day which was this past week, I am sharing it here with you.

 

Great Coffee Cake

2 Sticks butter

1 Cup sugar

3 Eggs

2 ½ Cups all purpose flour (because of my fatal mistake, make it a touch less)

2 Teaspoons baking powder

1 Teaspoon baking soda

1 Teaspoon salt

1 Cup sour cream

I add 4-5 Teaspoons vanilla extract and call it a vanilla coffee cake

Preheat oven to 350

Put the softened butter in a bowl and beat for several second.  Add the sugar and beat until smooth.  Add the eggs and beat for 2 minutes or until light and creamy.  Put the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a blow and stir with a fork to blend well.  Add the flour misture to the butter mixture and beat until smooth. Add the sour cream and mix well.  Add as much vanilla as you might like between one to five teaspoons.

Spoon the batter into a Bundt pan.  Bake for about 50 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

I add a topping but Domy doesn’t like it so I only put this on MY half of the cake.

¼ cup flour ¾ cup dark brown sugar ½ stick butter and walnuts or pecans.  Make sure to put this mixture on the cake before it goes into the oven.

 

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3 Responses to “She Takes the Cake”

  1. DBoos says:

    I can see this whole scenario playing out perfectly. Every hand getsture, every Spanglish word, and every look. Love this and love that Domy!!! So when are the 3 of us going out to dinner again?

  2. Pauli says:

    Where the hell is the cinnamon? Every decent coffee cake has cinnamon.
    But I digress. You are a real sweet boss to make cake for Domy. Let her eat what she likes.

  3. kimberly clark says:

    great fred! and I know for sure, first hand, there is no exaggeration going on here!

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