I was in my head so much that I didn’t watch TV, never read. Playing with friends was distracting because I would rather be in my fantasy world. Who I pretended to be was a full time job.   Let me introduce you to all the roles I played. It was exhausting being me.

I was Haley Mills in The Parent Trap.

I played tambourine and sometimes drums in my famous all-girl band – The Pink Pussycats. We wore pink Helanka turtlenecks, pink stretch pants and pink Courreges boots. We wore Mary Quant and Yardley makeup. Because of our sudden rise to fame, we did many glamorous magazine covers like Vogue and Seventeen.

I was all the characters in Peter Pan, my favorite being Tinkerbell. I would spend days hunting butterflies to collect the sticky stuff off their wings which would enable me to fly. This required leaving my house and the fantasy bubble I lived in.

As Shirley Temple, I sang The Good Ship Lollipop and tap-danced on the top of pianos.

One Sunday night, I starred in a Lassie episode and was swarmed on Monday by all my friends at school.

Sometimes I dressed in all black, sat on a stage playing bongos, reciting crazy beat poetry I’d written.

I was Ann-Margaret in Bye Bye Birdie.

I was Shirley McClaine in What a Way to Go and lived in a pink mansion.

I starred opposite Christopher Jones in Wild in the Streets.

It goes without saying, I was Julie Christie in all movies. That was me, not Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

I was the blonde lead, Judy Geeson, in To Sir with Love – but I was also Lulu singing the movie’s theme song.

I wrote a personal letter to Khrushchev spelling his name wrong – begging him to let me help orchestrate peace during the cold war between the United States and the Soviet Union. I became a hero and was celebrated all over the world, winning a medal.

I was Natalie Wood in Splendor in the Grass, West Side Story and my favorite role in Rebel Without a Cause.

I was Becky Thatcher in Tom Sawyer.

Long before Bruce Springsteen called Courtney Cox up on the stage to dance, I was at a Beatles concert in 1964 at the Hollywood Bowl, screaming and crying my eyes out when Paul, my favorite Beatle, noticed me and asked me up to dance with him. He sang I Want to Hold Your Hand to me and we fell deeply in love that night – and forever. He not only wanted to hold my hand, he wanted to dance with just me and not another.

I was the first and only child astronaut to fly to the moon. I landed and made a speech that reverberates to this day.

I saved John Kennedy from dying that day with my secret powers.

I was Patty Duke on The Patty Duke Show, playing both the outgoing teen and the brainy shy cousin.

I was the star of the TV show Gidget.   While at the beach in Santa Monica one day, I dug all the way to China. When I came out the other side I was greeted by children who showed me their rice paddies and Mao Tse Tung welcomed me.

I was Goldie Hawn on Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In.

I was Marlo Thomas in That Girl.

My father owned Disneyland, which became my own private park. My father owned all the local parks, like Roxbury and La Cienega. We also owned POP — Pacific Ocean Park — and the Del Coronado Hotel.

I was Eloise, living in the tippy-top floor of the Plaza Hotel. I also lived in the Beverly Wilshire Hotel and the Beverly Hills Hotel.

I was in the Tareyton cigarettes “I’d rather fight than switch!” commercial.

I was the woman in the ad about a turban.

I was both Esther Williams and a real mermaid.

I was on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson weekly. I was his favorite guest with the best anecdotes – he didn’t even need to prompt me and I sure made him laugh.

I was on The Dating Game.

I was Twiggy. Jean Shrimpton. Brigitte Bardot. And Leslie Caron. I was Nancy Kwan in The World of Susie Wong.

And of course I was the beautiful Elizabeth Taylor with those exquisite violet eyes.

I was Elvis Presley’s girlfriend.

I was Marilyn Monroe and had affairs with JFK and his brother Bobby.

I not only swam the English Channel, I also swam from Florida to Cuba where I was met by Castro. I became a cause célèbre and because of me, peace was made between the US and Cuba.

I was Jane Goodall, Margaret Meade. I was Joy Adamson and tamed Elsa the lion cub, later writing the book about it, Born Free.

Whereas Jane Fonda did not make any headway with the war in Vietnam, I led the counterculture opposition and met with Ho Chi Min to call for a cease-fire that ended the war. I was Jane in Klute and Barbarella.

I was Tuesday Weld. I married Dudley Moore.

I was Susan Dey in The Partridge Family. David Cassidy was my real life boyfriend.

I was Maureen McCormick in The Brady Bunch.

I was Olivia Hussey in Zefferelli’s Romeo and Juliet.

I was Mia Farrow in Peyton Place.

I was Tatum O’ Neal starring with my dad Ryan in Paper Moon.

I was Faye Dunaway starring opposite Warren Beatty in Bonnie and Clyde.

Men I lost my virginity to include, in no particular order: Mick Jagger, Elvis Presley, Ryan O’ Neal (so maybe it was incest), Warren Beatty, Albert Finney.

I was Jane Birkin in Antonioni’s film Blow-Up. Then I sang Je t’aime with my lover Serge Gainsbourg. I was the darling of the French New Wave, starring in films made by Truffaut and Goddard.

I was Jean Seberg and Francois Hardy and Jacqueline Bisset and Ali McGraw.

I was Edie Sedgwick hanging around with Andy Warhol.

Only two of the above are true.

Food:  When I think of hotels, like the one’s my family owned, I remember how great the turkey club sandwiches are.  So, go ahead and get yourself to the Beverly Hills Hotel or the Beverly Wilshire or the Del Coronado and order one.  Think of me when I was Eloise living at the Plaza.

 

 

 

Tags: Andy Warhol, Audrey Hepburn, Beverly Hills, daydreaming, Dudley Moore, Edie Sedgwick, Elizabeth Taylor, Fantasizing being famous, fredde duke, Freddie Duke, Freddy Duke, Growing up in my head, Julie Christie, living in my head, Mick Jagger, turkey club sandwiches at hotels, Twiggy

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 21st, 2015 at 8:15 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.