Archive for the ‘Storytelling’ Category

Locked Up Abroad

Tuesday, December 31st, 2024

I haven’t posted here this whole year so today, at the end of 2024, I am posting a story by a guest blogger. This story is written by my son Barnaby. The 72 hours that the story is about was the scariest of my life because I didn’t know if I would see him again. You’ll probably feel inspired to go out and eat Korean BBQ after reading this. I suggest the restaurants on Sawtelle in Los Angeles.

Locked Up Abroad written by Barnaby Duke

So, I was offered to shoot a dance commercial in South Korea. My immediate thought was that I’m not really a dancer in the way they probably expect, but it is a chance to experience a different country and that seems worth it. They offered me a few hundred bucks and a flight there and back — which isn’t that great in the entertainment world, especially since I was spoiled and lucky-as-fuck to have already booked national TV commercials at that point. I could make anywhere from $5,000 to $40,000 in residuals from one day’s shooting in a TV spot.

But I accepted, simply because I was getting a free trip to South Korea. I was pumped and ready, but also concerned about the choreography we’d have to learn when we arrived. See, I can dance and I’ve got rhythm from playing the drums — or as my mom joked, “Having James Brown knock me up to make you.” — but the one thing I couldn’t do to save my life was learn steps. It just wasn’t in my DNA, and I looked like an awkward uncle at a bar mitzvah trying to learn the cupid shuffle. I thought whatever, I’ll improvise and fake my way through it like I’ve basically done with everything my entire life. I’m not that great at anything, but I’m a good bluffer and can usually look comfortable enough to sell it. (more…)

Dig Deep

Tuesday, November 24th, 2020

Colon cancer runs in my family. Procrastination runs in me. So, a few years after my suggested year to get another colonoscopy, I went to the doctor and negotiated a few more years. Then I let even more years slip by. At this point, I was way overdue. I went in again. Now when my doctor, Denise Hertz (read: hurts), saw how profoundly neurotic I was – she decided I could go in for the virtual colonoscopy instead. It’s offered by the same radiology group that does my equally dreaded, but not procrastinated (usually) mammograms.

Let me circle back quickly to when I lost my colonoscopy virginity. I’m around 50. Probably exactly 50, since it’s the age they want you to get your first colonoscopy. I make an appointment with some dude in Beverly Hills that other friends have been to. It’s in a surgical center at the bottom of an office building. I’m sedated and in the middle of the procedure. I say, “Owww!” (Don’t worry, I won’t circle back to my C-section without anesthetic – you can do that on your own in my blog.) I’m pulled out from being under and the doctor looks at me and says he can’t finish the procedure because I have — wait for it — “a mangled, twisted colon.” Yep, that’s what he said. So, I ask him, “How many fucking people in the world have a mangled, twisted colon?” He answers, “Two percent.” (more…)