Posts Tagged ‘conspiracy’

If You Build It They Will Come

Friday, September 11th, 2009

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There is a conspiracy theory in the Palisades. I know this because I personally made it up. I tell everyone I see about it and they believe me. Truly. They look me right in the eye after I explain it to them and say, “oh my God, you’re right!”.

Here it is in a nutshell.

Pacific Palisades, California is a magical community. It has attracted the famous and wealthy for years. Even Henry Miller lived here along with Neutra the architect. In more recent years, it has attracted the rich and famous.

There are restaurants here in the Palisades but not one is really good. Not one.

When you live here, you hate driving and you like to walk to places and not leave the hood. So, you go to the same bad restaurants year after year. We, not me, but others have now even lowered their standards and have come to believe that some of the food is actually good. So not true. Get real.

This should not be the case and it’s a plot run by three main players in the community, I am adding a fourth now. It’s Schwarzenegger, Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg. They got together and said, “we hate the food here in our hood, but we like our privacy so lets keep it that way”. Larry David is now in on the conspiracy and he knows it.

Every once in awhile there will be rumblings about a new restaurant and that it- in fact might be the one . It’s always an urban legend. Trust me.

There was a deli here for decades. People in the community liked it because it was a mainstay. It also wasn’t good but it was a regular place and something about that made it better, if you know what I mean. Morts Deli rent went sky high and they had to leave so Mayor Richard Riordan bought it and turned it into yet another truly awful restaurant. It’s called, oh who cares what it’s called, something with Pantry in the title. When it opened, I opened my mind and heart and went to try it a few times. So bad, he should arrest himself….can you do that? I was so mad with the service, the food and everything in the first weeks that I was just screwing around on it’s website and wrote a really nasty review and I never signed my name to it but somehow it was on the world wide web for all to see with my name attached and everything. Oh well. I just looked and somehow it’s now not on there and only one good review is in it’s place, a lie.

The people responsible for the plot and I all do eat at the same amazing restaurant but it is just a touch outside our zip code. We head down into Santa Monica canyon and eat at Giorgio’s on West Channel. I will review Giorgio’s one of the best restaurants in Los Angeles at a later date so stay tuned.