Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

May I Have This Dance?

Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

Barnaby limo cropped 2

When I hear wheels spinning, a grinding sound, and the voices of little boys, I have a Pavlovian reaction — I turn my head and think it’s my own skateboarding child.  Only it isn’t.  Not for many years now.   I knew all the terminology.  Doing an ollie.  When I took Barnaby to New York, he ollied off of all the Lincoln Center stairs. There’s a kickflip, a nosegrind.   Barnaby spent most days at various skate parks on the halfpipe, mega ramp or quarter pipe.   On trips, I might pick up a new deck for him as a gift.  But then he would still need the hardware, like the trucks and wheels.  The joke in our family about Barnaby’s physical activity and fearlessness was that he wasn’t from our family, nervous, not-too-sporty Jews, but from the Winter family (gentile).  The Winter kids don’t think twice about jumping off high rocks into water many feet below (or sometimes no water) as only one example.

Each September, for several years, we were lucky enough to score four tickets to the Emmy awards.  We have five kids, so the ones interested, took turns dressing up in their finest and joining us that night.   It was always exciting, and one year, it was my step-daughter Emma and Barnaby’s turn—to go with Michael (nominated twenty years in a row—not one win) and me.   Barnaby, twelve, but looking nine, spent the whole morning out with friends skateboarding, coming back just in the nick of time, that board grinding to a halt in front of the house, Barnaby drenched in sweat.  He took a quick shower and put on a suit and was fully out of character.  And yet, totally thrilled by the limo ride. (more…)

Duschinsky Family Reunion, 2013

Friday, August 30th, 2013

my cake for Duschinsky family reunion

I kept this on the down low.  I’m a Duschinsky.  Yes, that’s right, if not for a name having too many letters on the marquee in Vaudeville days, I too would have, could have, should have,  been–a Duschinsky.  A Duschinsky just like my cousins.

And now I was headed to a Duschinsky family reunion.  That is what the invitation said.  I started to reveal the information to my friends in the weeks and days before.  At book club, I announced my plans for the up coming weekend: “I’m a Duschinsky,” I said out of the blue—the way I say most things, no segue necessary.  And, this Saturday, there is a HUGE and I do mean HUGE Duschinsky family reunion.    “Duschinsky, it’s great,” Donna said.  Then she started laughing, “You would have been Fredrica Duschinsky, which sounds like Russian royalty.”  Yep, Fredrica Duschinsky would have been a mouthful.   We are Hungarian.  As my father told me, quite the opposite of royalty, we’re gypsies. (more…)

Eavesdropping

Monday, August 26th, 2013

restaurant-gibby-s

 

I admit it.  I eavesdrop.  I love it, but sometimes I end up a buttinsky.  I start chatting with random people in a restaurant, and it’s so transparent that I have been leaning way far over in order to hear it all.  One time, in New York, I overheard a first date.  They met on Match.com.  Two middle-aged people (pushing 70, so maybe not middle age) were having a conversation and the cuckoo bird woman was telling her date she was a princess in some obscure country no one has heard of.  I’m not kidding.  I wanted her to go to the bathroom so I could tell the guy to make a run for it.  And it was SO none of my fucking business.  And yet, I continue this pursuit even though the hearing is now diminished in my right ear and I have to be seated just so in order to overhear everything. (more…)

Alley Cats

Wednesday, August 7th, 2013

Crowne

 

I just got my car cleaned at the most ghetto car wash.  If it weren’t for cars being dried there you would think it was out of business.  When you pull up, you see that the gas pumps are pulled out, just stubs left behind, not paved over.   In their place, scribbled in pen (not even a Sharpie) on a torn paper sign, “No Gas.”  The whole place is in disrepair, completely run down.  By the way, best car wash I’ve had in years.  The guys working there get in your car with cloths and spray bottles and really have a go.

While standing in the small building where I paid, basically the size of a tollbooth, I was flooded with memories of an old friend.  He lived in the alley right behind this car wash for at least thirty years.  I called him Charlie.  That’s what he told me his name was.  Others called him Pierre.   “Where is Charlie, the homeless dude?” I asked the curt woman as I handed my credit card over.  “You mean Pierre?”  “No, I mean Charlie — because I was friends with him and he told me his name was Charlie.   I know he told some people to call him Pierre.”  She said he moved a few years ago after a big health scare when neighbors and other fans in his hood rushed him to a hospital and he nearly died.  “After that, he moved to the Valley.”  The Valley??!!  I thought but didn’t say. (more…)

Thrift Shop

Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

cropped photo of vintage shopping, me and Augie

     Shopping for vintage clothes was for me something of an art.

Or maybe a sport.  I had a little talent for it.  When I was a teenager, I almost exclusively wore antique (what we called it then) dresses.  Shirts and coats as well.  The only vintage pants I remember buying were those old high-waisted navy sailor pants.  Those were so friggin’ bitchin.   But they were made of wool and itchy.  I was all about the look though, and an itch I could tolerate for the look.

When I started driving, I would head out to a favorite store on Wilshire in that strange hood just before Santa Monica, near Barrington.  The Junk Store.  A semi-nasty person owned the place and when I tried to purchase my first item there — a black velvet 1940’s coat with big padded shoulders and white, sorry to say, elephant ivory buttons — I was told to go straight home and get a written note from my parents.    A lot of parents were coming in complaining about and returning their kids’ purchases.  I thought, “WHAT?  My mother loves my style and everything I buy and wear.  I also make my own money and it’s not my parents’ business.”  But I went along with it, and I’m such a goody-goody that I brought back a legitimate note.  I could have gone outside and written my own.  I’m slow.  Everyone went to The Junk Store for the must-have ski sweater and the patchwork quilts. (more…)

Stretching: Past My Comfort Zone

Monday, May 20th, 2013

me and Janet in St-Tropez

A few years ago my friend Janet said to me “I’m saying yes, yes to everything.”

I thought, wow, Kimberly just said the same thing to me a few months before. She said, “Fredde, I’m saying yes to everything, every single new opportunity, it’s yes.” I didn’t want to be left behind — I prefer no – so I tried to get out of my comfort zone and sometimes, but not all the time, I was going to say “Yes!” (more…)

The Many Lives of Lucy

Saturday, January 19th, 2013

emma, augie with baby lucy the catFirst Life

Lucy was abandoned by her mother at the age of two weeks.  She was found next to a big trash bin in an alley in Beverly Hills.

Second life.

Emma, my stepdaughter begged her father to let her keep the kitten at his house in Coldwater Canyon.  Lucy moves in to the Coldwater house and is helped by Emma to pee by rubbing low on her belly. Tiny circular strokes, the way a mother cat would lick a kitten to help teach their baby to pee.  She is bottle-fed.  After a few months she is fully realized kitten that can pee and eat on her own.  She does not however fit in all that well.  Lucy remains a feral.  Docile at times, she is starting to lose her audience.  Lucy is not a warm and cozy kitten that wants to be held.  Let me put it this way…she wants to, but she will have to bite you.

(more…)

The Mother of All Waitresses

Saturday, May 12th, 2012

I once went to the most spectacular Hollywood funeral ever.  And the love that poured out was well deserved.  We knew her by one name, kind of like Cher or Madonna.  Kaye.  Do you all know whom I’m talking about?  You do if you were lucky enough to grow up in Beverly Hills at that time.  It’s Kaye Coleman, beloved Nate n’ Al’s waitress and star of our collective childhoods.

Although Kaye had her own daughter and son (and grandchildren), she was the unofficial surrogate mother to some of the biggest mothers in Hollywood.  And her “sons” looked after her well.  I’d run into Kaye at the priciest restaurants, dining with her posse of waitress friends, the tab picked up by Lew Wasserman or Bernie Brillstein.  Those two moguls would also send her on European vacations and ocean cruises.  At times, Kaye lived a fancier life than many of her Beverly Hills customers.

Larry King was the emcee of Kaye’s funeral, the only funeral I can think of that had one.  His two Nate n’ Al’s buddies, the ones he eats with everyday, Sid and Bob, gave their own hilarious eulogies.   So funny, that I overheard Suzanne Pleshette — with that happy newlywed look on her face after her surprise marriage to Tom Poston — leaving the funeral saying, “Who knew?  Guess we have to get those two to speak at my funeral.”  Sadly, that day would come too soon (not fair). (more…)

340 South Roxbury Drive

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

 

me and my mom at our beach house

In our family, life is six degrees of feline separation.

I often tell people I was meant to grow up in Malibu.  That is where we lived — right on the beach – but my mom’s cat Jezebel was killed by a car, and that incident turned my life around.

My mother decided it wasn’t safe on the highway (PCH) and we moved to the house on Roxbury Drive, Beverly Hills.  The year was 1955.   The former owners sold it to us with one perfect provision: the cat comes with the house.  What are the chances of this?  We move because a cat gets killed and instantly we have this new one.  Hangover, who came with his name, was a rather large, slightly feral black & white street boy.  The name, in the lore of our family (and from what the previous owners told us), came from this big-ass cat’s habit of hanging over the sides of trees that he climbed.  He was not a drunk.  He was really frisky, almost unsafe for a small child.

Hangover the cat!!!

On days when I was sick at home, Sheriff John would be playing on the TV, but I wouldn’t be watching — because I was too busy forcing Hangover’s paws to crayon  pictures with me getting scratched by the real leader of our family.  He kept me/us in line.  He was also the first creature I would love. (more…)

Summer(s) of Love

Saturday, August 27th, 2011


I sat next to her in the park that day.

She wore a backless Indian print shirt. Might have been a scarf wrapped at the neck then tied low in the back. She reached into her one-of-a-kind (had to get one myself) hippie bag, pulled out her special pot of lip-gloss and patted her very full Bridget Bardot lips, making them appear even fuller. Then she held the lip-gloss out to me and offered a dab. I, too, wore Indian print clothes. I lived in my hippie-chic garb. I dipped my finger in. From that first hit, I was hooked. On my new best friend Libbie and her special pot.

Her opening line was, “I noticed you all last year.” I mirrored the line back. I had noticed her. Tall, unusual model-looks. I admired her great sense of style. This was the start of a mutual admiration society. Propinquity was the name of the store where she purchased the lip-gloss, and from then on the word defined us. The store became a regular stop for me. An incense, peppermints & psychedelic-vibe kind of place, where all the hippies shopped. I wore that lip-gloss for an eternity.

For years to come, we shared clothes, food, homes, friends, even parents.

We could both be a little princess-y, desiring things we couldn’t really afford. Good thing we were both so good at sharing and loved all the same restaurants. That way, there was never an argument where to eat. (more…)